A little something about the blog!

I've gotten it in my mind, I have not enough to do, therefore, I have chosen to begin writting about my life, from the birth, 'til now. I have given much thought to what would be said, other than remembering. I will post pages as I finish in sequence of living years. Nothing before it's time.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

It's been an odd.

It all began in God's garden;
called this Earth we all live on.

I went to work as usual today, seems I always know when something is about to happen, good or bad, I just get this overwhelming feeling. Which came to me last Friday, Something BIG, no clue what, but big.
I have tried with much effort to tidy the Garden Center, where I work for the last 6 weeks but something told me to get it DONE.
The cashier, one is a real Gem, she helps me as much as possible with sorting and shifting and has a second job to help her grandma she lives with.
Another cashier sits on her phone texting all day. She was on the phone today, I'll get to that in a minute.
Saturday, I had the pleasure of God's blessing, a man, I didn't know praying with me at work, right out in the open, asking God to bless me and ease my pain. I was overwhelmed with emotion that anyone would see my love for God and know it when they would look at me. I cried.
Sunday, another day of sorting, clipping, watering and getting things in order.
Monday, finally getting things in the places they belong, mulch, soil, rock.
Tuesday, today, On the time clock is a note, "Department Head Opening-Children's" can't apply while on the clock. I know, I have to apply because the garden center is closing soon and unemployment wouldn't like the idea of offered work being ignored. Went to the garden center got all the patio pot in their place, trimmed, raking the left overs, tossing for compost.
They send me the texter as a cashier, man I thought they knew, I am done with her, guess they don't read minds.
Well, she got tired of the watching and wanted to go inside.
I noticed a lady coming into the garden center, I can spot a secret shopper a mile away, so I did my best to accommodate her and let her know I was here to help her.
Well, the texting cashier was on the phone, texting, when the lady (secret shopper) went to ask about the price of a hanging basket, great!
The texting cashier came to the cart where I was trimming hanging baskets and rolled her eyes,
I said, "Hope she wasn't our secret shopper."
 Texting cashier said, "They usually come at the beginning of the month."
I said, "I can spot a secret shopper a mile away, this isn't my first retail job, I've had hundreds of secret shoppers."
Texting cashier, made her phone calls inside, to alert everyone.
That sucked she was on the phone, TEXTING.
Went to lunch, came back and all the "ups" (managers) were scrambling like the place was on fire. Looked around for a bit and saw a new guy, uh oh, he has a clip board, (District Manager, evaluation time) came into the garden center and I ask him if he would step outside with me, I told him; "I'm not trying to be fresh, but you have something on your beard." So I, Mom-ed it off. I wasn't sure what it was but didn't want him to find it later and feel humiliated.
We spoke for a minute and he complemented me on how good the garden center look, "Great job! A plus!"
My manager, I had asked about the position of Dept head in children's,
I ask, "Who makes the decision?"
"The guy doing the evaluation, and the Store Manager."
Good deal, I just saved the district manager serious humiliation, maybe he'll like the way I, Mom-ed that thing off his chin and I'll get the job.
My manager even complemented me on what a good job I've done in the garden center.
I've been asked if I wanted the job, it doesn't really matter if you want the job, you take what is given to you, and you do your best to make it happen.
After my shift I stood at the company computer and answered the questions the store manager asked to be best of my ability.
Interview on Friday.

I leave you with this:
                 Remember, it's not about you, but what you have within you, and what you do with it.

As always.

`til next time


Wednesday, April 18, 2012

What a wonderful gift for Mom

A local florist,"Secret Garden", in Decatur, Illinois, holds name contests for arrangements they make.
                                                 I WON!
They ask you to comment on the photo with a name and how many likes you get is whether you win.

 With heart of a child, I look forward to setting this at Mom's grave,
                                         Mother's Day.
No, it wasn't her style, but she would cherish the thought, it was picked just for her, then, place the cup and saucer in her china cabinet as a loved reminder.

Missing Mom, so much.

til next time.

~ ~


Monday, April 16, 2012

The winds of change.

in from the April rain,
outside my dining room window,
looking onto the front porch.

It's been a strange winter and early spring,
now the winds of March, have come to April.
Many, of the flowers of May, have shown their colors and withered.
The flowering tree's have lost their bloom.
The fragrance of spring is no longer filtering through the air.
Rain's that should have come for spring planting have arrived late, farmers losing already planted crops.

Roses planted at fences to keep predators at bay.
Anything to keep the family and homestead safe.
Garden planting has begun.
Tomatoes, onions, potatoes, green peppers,
                                             along with favorite turnips.

The days seem to pass without notice,
                    as if, drifting away with time, not much time.
God, has allowed me, the pleasures of these things, in what is left,
                    as time on this earth.

I stay steady at a craft, as to, not grow old to quickly,
                                                                   some days, I forget.
I do not know, if I forget, due to the fact that I have been reminded,
I do not know everything and lost my willingness to remember
if time is beginning to take it's toll
and what,
I once knew is so far behind me,
I choose not to remember.

I have learned to not keep score, when you do,
                                           you lose the effort to remember.
I forget.
               I have lost myself?

It is not tragic,
               I do not wish to live another life.
The continued thought of being underminded,
       kept in a place, that, you forget,
              other's relish with delight,
                      you have come to this place.

I forget.

`til next time


Sunday, March 25, 2012

Been a while, how about an update???

The winter here is not what is has been in the past years, hardly any snow for summer crops, the rains of the spring, seem to have missed the area I live in.

Last fall, a sibling purchased Cranberry Cotoneaster bushes, for all of the kids to plant in memory of Mom, guess this was about Mom's birthday, October 11, I hestatied, and wanted to plant in the spring, to be sure I wasn't digging frozen ground. I was concerned about the poor thing dying, but it made it and has new growth. I planted it in a sunny area in the yard just off the corner of the garage.

Not a very good picture, but will post better ones as the summer comes along.

We all love Mom's cranberry relish, guess the reason. No, she didn't use the berries from this kind of bush, she used actual cranberries.

til next time.


Sunday, December 11, 2011

A New Year is fast approching

Out with the old and in with the new. As 2011 comes to a close I find myself with a list of what happened there. It's not like it would really make a difference. You could argue, complain, and do everything in your power to change it but it is what it is and people will never change.

I, got through the Thanksgiving holiday, with a get-away, went with the hubby and some friends, to southern Illinois along the Ohio river. No family or siblings. What a treat.

Now, the Christmas holiday and my only brothers 50 birthday, that Mom, won't be able to attend or be at, and as long as the sister's are there, I won't be either, I'm good with it. I have no hard feeling or animosity, I just don't want to be around them.

2011 Christmas Tree
Other than my petty whimming about the family, we did put a tree up this year with blue lights on it, and ornaments from the anniversary party. Looks pretty good, we did have a strand of lights go out, try to find a blue strand, good luck, we did find one at Menard's, after checking the local walmart and Lowe's. Picked up some pathway bells that play Christmas music, that was pretty cool. I took a video, I'll load that later.

gotta go for now,

til next time.


Sunday, September 4, 2011

WOW! Labor Day 2011

Congratulation 2011.

I never imagined this year would take such a toll.

I continue to work crochet, and stay steady at a craft to keep myself from wondering away. I have that tendency; to not want to stay when things are difficult.

With Mom passing, I know find myself with the hardest decision I will ever make in my life. Nothing to it really, but she didn't leave a will. I have 4 siblings. I know and have always understood that I wasn't one of her favorites, not my words, the words of other siblings. I understood that a long time ago. I'm good with it. Now, what to do with the Estate, I want to just let it go and let Mom rest in peace, as long as it is kept alive there will aways be bickering over who got what and how things were divided.

How can that be resting in peace?????

I want to just get it over with. She had nothing of great value. Property that I am told is worth no more than 26,000. So what's the big deal. I'm oldest and was taught to care for all the siblings not just some. Now, it is time to send it to probate and let the pieces fall where they may.

I have never really thought of myself as a selfish person, but I suppose now, would be the best time to do it.

til next time,

wild clover

Friday, August 26, 2011

My Mom's Gone

Prepareing for the new school year, losing the route I had driven for years, had been deleted and while looking through folders at the work available for the up coming year.
About 4:20 pm, August 12, 2011.
I receive a phone call from my youngest sister,
"Connie, Tom called, and said mom is on the way to he hospital, in an ambulance."
I asked, "What hospital?",
Sister, "DMH", with "Connie, it's not good."

will continue later, just still to fresh.